{"id":3292,"date":"2019-01-07T12:48:00","date_gmt":"2019-01-07T12:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theprodigalpig.com\/?p=3292"},"modified":"2018-05-14T14:10:31","modified_gmt":"2018-05-14T14:10:31","slug":"power-of-forgiveness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.theprodigalpig.com\/?p=3292","title":{"rendered":"Power of Forgiveness"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Me:\u00a0 Are you having fun with Brady?<\/p>\n

Prodigal:\u00a0 I swear he is as limber as dishrags!<\/p>\n

Me: Well enjoy your time as I share a story<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This come from Christianity Today, January 7, 1983<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I thought about her.\u00a0 I dreamed about her.\u00a0 I saw her in every woman I met.\u00a0 Some had her name–Cathy.\u00a0 Others had her deep-set blue eyes or curly dark hair.\u00a0 Even the slightest resemblance turned by stomach into a knot.<\/p>\n

Weeks, months, years passed.\u00a0 Was I never to be free of this woman who had gone after my husband and then, following our divorce, married him?\u00a0 I couldn’t go on like this.\u00a0 The resentment guilt and anger drained the life out of everything I did.\u00a0 I blamed myself.\u00a0 I went into counseling.\u00a0 I attended self-help classes, enrolled in seminars and workshops.\u00a0 I read books.\u00a0 I talked to anyone who would listen.\u00a0 I ran.\u00a0 I walked the beach.\u00a0 I drove for miles to nowhere.\u00a0 I screamed into my pillow at night.\u00a0 I prayed.\u00a0 I did everything I knew how to do.<\/p>\n

Then one Saturday I was drawn to a daylong seminar on the healing power of forgiveness held at a church in my neighborhood.\u00a0 The leader invited participants to close their eyes and locate someone in their lives they had not forgiven—for whatever reason, real or imagined.\u00a0 Cathy.\u00a0 There she was again, looming large in my mind’s eye.<\/p>\n

Next, he asked us to look at whether or not we’d be willing to forgive that person.\u00a0 My stomach churned, my hands perspired and my head throbbed.\u00a0 I had to get out of that room, but something kept me in my seat.<\/p>\n

How could I forgive a person like a Cathy?\u00a0 She had not only hurt me, but she’d hurt my children.\u00a0 So I turned by attention to other people in my life.\u00a0 My mother.\u00a0 She’d be easy to forgive.\u00a0 Or my friend, Ann.\u00a0 Or my former high school English teacher.\u00a0 Anyone but Cathy.\u00a0 But there was no escape.\u00a0 The name, the image of her face, persisted.<\/p>\n

Then a voice within gently asked, “Are you ready to let go of this?\u00a0 To release her?\u00a0\u00a0 To forgive yourself, too?”<\/p>\n

I turned hot, then cold.\u00a0 I started to shake.\u00a0 I was certain everyone around me could hear my heart beating.<\/p>\n

Yes, I was willing.\u00a0 I couldn’t hold on to my anger any longer.\u00a0 It was killing me.\u00a0 In that moment, an incredible shift occurred within me.\u00a0 I simply let go.\u00a0 I can’t describe it.\u00a0 I don’t know what happened or what allowed me at that moment to do something I had resisted so doggedly.\u00a0 All I know is that for the first time in four years I completely surrendered to the Holy Spirit.\u00a0 I released my grip on Cathy, on my ex-husband, on myself.\u00a0 I let go of the rage and resentment–just like that.<\/p>\n

Within seconds, energy rushed through every cell of my body.\u00a0 My mind became alert, my heart lightened.\u00a0 Suddenly I realized that as long as I separated myself from even one person, I separated myself from God.\u00a0 How self-righteous I had been.\u00a0 How arrogant.\u00a0 How judgmental.\u00a0 How important it had been for me to be right, no matter what the cost.\u00a0 And it had cost me plenty–my health, my spontaneity, my aliveness.<\/p>\n

I had no idea what was next, but it didn’t matter.\u00a0 That night I slept straight through until morning.\u00a0 No dreams, No haunting face.\u00a0 No reminders.<\/p>\n

The following Monday, I walked into my office and wrote Cathy a letter.\u00a0 The words spilled onto the page without effort.<\/p>\n

“Dear Cathy,” I began. “On Saturday Morning..” and I proceeded to tell her what had occurred during the seminar.\u00a0 I also told her how I had hated her for what she had done to my marriage and to my family, and, as a result, how I had denied both of us the healing power of forgiveness.\u00a0 I apologized for my hateful thoughts.\u00a0 I signed my name, slipped the letter into an envelope, and popped it in the mail, relieved and invigorated.<\/p>\n

Two days later, the phone rang. “Karen?”<\/p>\n

There was no mistaking the voice.<\/p>\n

“It’s Cathy,” she said softly.<\/p>\n

I was surprised that my stomach remained calm.\u00a0 My hands were dry.\u00a0 My voice was steady and sure.\u00a0\u00a0I listened more than I talked–unusual for me.\u00a0 I found myself actually interested in what she had to say.<\/p>\n

Cathy thanked me for the letter and acknowledged my courage in writing it.\u00a0 Then she told me how sorry she was–for everything.\u00a0 She talked briefly about her regret, her sadness for me, for my children and more.\u00a0 All I had ever wanted to hear from her, she said, that day.<\/p>\n

As I replaced the receiver, another insight came to me.\u00a0 I realized that as nice as it was to hear her words of apology, they didn’t really matter.\u00a0 They paled in comparison to what God was teaching me.\u00a0 Buried deep in the trauma of my divorce was the truth I had been looking for all my life without even knowing it.\u00a0 No one can hurt me as long as I am in God’s hands.\u00a0 Unless I allow it, no one can rob me of my joy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

1 John 4:14<\/p>\n

And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jennifer Van Allen<\/p>\n

www.theprodigalpig.com<\/p>\n

www.faithincounseling.org<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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