This is from How to Have That Difficult Conversation by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Every good relationship has a balance of yeses and nos. If you never said no to anything, you would be a puppet. If you never said yes, you would be a dictator. In the middle is the give and take of a good relationship, in which you negotiate and persist when something is important to you.
But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren. Luke 22:32 (KJV)
Prodigal: I have known you since you were knee high to a grasshopper.
Me: True.
This is from The Strong Family by Charles Swindoll
Our family, while made up of independent-thinking, strong-minded people, is still close. All of us are imperfect and in the process of learning and growing. But the good news is this: We are still having fun, still communicating openly, and still committed to each other. God gets all the glory. As we enjoy each other, our family knows it is because He is the One who has honored our commitment to principles that broke the mold of traditional parenting.
If parents were to ask me, “What is the greatest gift we could give our young child?” I would answer rather quickly: a sensitive spirit. That is especially rare among busy parents who live under the demand of hurried schedules, constantly doing battle with tyranny of the urgent. Nevertheless, my counsel to you would be, give your child the time it takes to find out how he or she is put together. Help your child know who he or she is. Discuss those things with your children. Help them know themselves so that they learn to love and accept themselves as they are. Then, as they move into a society that seems committed to pounding them into another shape, they will remain true to themselves, secure in their independent walk with their God.
Psalm 139:1-2
O Lord, Thou hast searched me and known me. Thou dost know when I sit down and when I rise up; Thou dost understand my thought from afar. (KJV)
Prodigal: I’m snug as a bug, and ready for a story.
Me: Maybe this one you will like.
This is by Caryll Houselander
As a child during World War I, I attended a French convent school. One of the nuns was from Bavaria. She spoke little English and very poor French, and she made no real contact with the children. Local police interrogated her as an “enemy alien,” and there were even subtle murmurs in the community that she was a spy dressed as a nun. As the Germans advanced, so did the nun’s loneliness and isolation.
One day as I passed the bootroom, the little cubicle where our shoes were kept, I saw the Bavarian nun sitting alone, cleaning shoes. I can see her now as if it were yesterday–a tall, gaunt woman with brilliant red cheeks, and eyes so dark that they looked black. There she was, wearing her large, cobalt blue apron, with a child’s pair of shoes on her lap.
Then I noticed the tears running down her rosy cheeks and falling onto the shoes. Abashed, I dropped my eyes to her large toil-worn hands. Hands, red and chapped, with blunted nails, which were folded in a way that expressed inconsolable grief.
We were both quite silent, I staring away not wanting to see her crying.
At last, when I raised my head, I saw an unbelievable sight: the nun’s head was circled by a crown of thorns.
I shall not attempt to explain this. I am simply telling the thing as I saw it. That bowed head was weighed down under the crown.
I stood dumbfounded a few seconds, and then I told her, “I would not cry if I were wearing the crown of thorns like you are.”
She looked startled, and asked, “What do you mean?”
I sat down beside her, and as I described to her what I had seen, a glow of joy enveloped her, dispelling the grief.
Together we polished the children’s shoes.
Hear now, O Joshua the high priest, thou, and thy fellows that sit before thee: for they are men wondered at: for, behold, I will bring forth my servant the BRANCH. Zechariah 3:8 (KJV)
There was no time to prepare. In February of 2007, while we were away on one of the very few trips of our married life, my husband Mike and I received the worst news that a parent could ever hear. Our disabled thirteen-year old son, Jonathan, had been killed by a man who worked at the facility near our home in upstate New York. The grueling journey home felt like an eternity as we struggled to come to terms with how to tell our other son, Joshua, that his brother was gone.
We numbly walked through the preparations for Jonathan’s funeral. At the same time we had to deal with a crush of media and the nightmare of trying to hold the man who killed Jonathan accountable for his actions.
It was surreal. This was the kind of thing that you saw on the news, and I never thought that something like this could happen to our family. In the midst of the darkness, however, I could hear God’s voice reassuring me that Jonathan was with Him. I desperately clung to that hope.
Then, about three weeks after Jonathan’s death, Mike and I had surprisingly similar dreams. Mike saw Jonathan sitting on a white horse holding a sword across his chest. He was wearing an ornate breastplate, and his hair appeared a bit lighter. He looked very handsome and appeared older than thirteen. In my dream I saw Jonathan riding full speed on a beautiful white horse. He was holding the reins above his head as if riding into battle. His hair was moving up and down to the pounding of the horse’s hoofs. He was wearing a shining breastplate, and his clothing was an off-white color. He looked very handsome and mature in my dream, too. He was not smiling, but his expression was one of purpose.
Mike and I marveled at the many similarities in our dreams, and we immediately knew that the Lord was giving us a glimpse of Jonathan and his purpose in Heaven. I knew that there were some scriptures in the Bible about white horses so I decided to look them up.
That’s when I found it. In the book of Revelation 19:14 it says, “And the armies in Heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, followed Him on white horses.” We were absolutely astounded.
A week later, Mike and I attended a second memorial service held at the facility to bring closer to the other disable kids who had known and loved our son. While at the service we noticed numerous pictures and other memorabilia set up around the room to remember him. As I was walking around the room looking at everything, I happened upon a photo of Jonathan that I had never seen before. In the photo Jonathan was leaning over a fence with a look of pure joy on his face as he was about to kiss a beautiful white horse.
My heart melted as I called Mike over to look at the amazing picture. We both instantly knew that this photo was a confirmation of the dreams God had given us the week before. Jonathan had loved horses from the time he was a toddler, and over the years we had taken many pictures of him with horses, but we had none with a white horse. We learned that Jonathan’s teacher had taken the photo two months earlier during one of their outings to a local horse farm. She had forgotten all about the picture until she searched through her camera for photos of Jonathan for the memorial service.
She could never have imagined the significance of that photo to our broken hearts. We will treasure that photo every day until we are reunited with our precious son.
Three months later, the Governor of New York State singed Jonathan’s Law, which gives the families of people with physical or mental disabilities access to all the records and incident reports related to them in care facilities. These records had previously been sealed. It was a great victory for the countless families of people with disabilities statewide, and a true example of how God works all things together for good. There is no doubt that Jonathan did battle in the heavens for the law that bears his name, and he now rides with the armies of God.
Let me be weighed in an even balance that God may know mine integrity. Job 31:6 (KJV)
Prodigal: I’ve had a lot of screen time….I am switching to this to communication.
Me: I’m completely on board with that….lol
This is from the book Growing up Social by Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane
There are general guidelines for deciding what content is appropriate for your child to watch.
What factual data is my child learning from this program? If there is factual data, is it correct? You want you child’s mind to be filled with truth. If the program communicates a distorted vision of reality instead of how life works in the real world, you don’t want your child watching. You want your child to be exposed to things that are real and not a distortion of reality.
What kind of character traits is this program seeking to build in my child? Is the main character someone I want my child to copy? If the humor comes from cutting others down, being rude, or showing disrespect to authority, that’s a red light. Positive programs will teach your child to care for others, work hard, resolve conflict, or overcome obstacles.
How does this program treat family members? Television sitcoms often degrade men and fathers by making them lazy, fat, or stupid. What messages will your child hear about men, women, marriage, and parents? How is the family represented?
Is this program consistent with our family values? A child is running into all sorts of values during his or her early years. You can’t control what your child sees outside at school or other places, but you can control what he or she is exposed to at home. What is viewed on screens should be in keeping with your family values, or it should be off limits.
And the woman said to Elijah, Now by this I know that thou art a man of God, and that the word of the LORD in thy mouth is truth. 1 Kings 17:14 (KJV)
