Dirty and Useless

03-09-15 072

 

Me:  Prodigal, have you looked in the mirror?

 

Prodigal:  No, why?

 

Me:  You have dirt on your nose.

 

Prodigal:  Wow, now that I look at my self, I am dirty all over from working in the yard.  Do you mind sharing even when I look like this.

 

Me:  Prodigal not at all, I accept you the way that you are!

 

I am reading a book by Debra Evans entitled But For God.  She talks about the perceptions that she has of herself.  I thought it would be great to share below.

 

As you would expect, I thought as a little child that if my mother was dirty and bad, that made me dirty and bad too.  What I could not understand then was that what my mother did for a living did not make me anything;  I was simply…her daughter.  Still, shame corroded my self-image, as it is so inclined to do, and the enemy found a foothold and whispered names to me that God never would.  Satan called me Dirty, Liar, Useless, Unwanted, Mistake….until I wore shame like a dirty rag and begin to look at my entire life through its broken glass.

The enemy had beset me with a lie, just like he does so many daughters.  In my mind, I had no beginning; I was just a continuation of my mother.  Because that idea was far too painful to work through, and the lie began when I was too young to process all the dynamics, I bought into the deceptive fantasy Satan held up to me.  It wasn’t until I learned the truth and became clearly defined as my own person that I was set free.  Time, and the saturation of God’s Word into our lives, allows us the opportunity to absorb the truths we need in order to mature beyond those childhood deceptions.

 

God will heal you through your pain, but it is usually a windy path that is not straightforward.  He makes sure that he leaves no lies tucked away to resurface later.  He will heal completely.  That is why it takes a while.  That is why it involves a lot of struggle.  When you get to the end though and the healing truth of Gods word is taking over, all you see is God’s footprints covering your walk.  His footprints do not wash away in the sand.  They are edged in concrete where you will see them and all others will be able to see them too.

 

Psalm 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds

 

Jennifer Van Allen

 

www.theprodigalpig.com

www.faithincounseling.org

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