Disappointment or Joy

Me: I can hardly stand it!

Prodigal: What?

Me: I have to tell you what happened to me.

I was staring at the website. I was disappointed, hurt, and even pride showed up. Being a writer can have its ups and downs. I felt like this was a confusing down that I was experiencing.

I had submitted a piece to an editor. I thought the interaction between us had gone very well. I was happy with the content that was written and it was submitted. Writing takes time from when it is submitted to when it is actually published in print, or on the screen. I knew this and was familiar with the process.

It had been months and I had no communication with the editor. I knew this was the time frame they were going to publish. I decided to go to the website. That is when I saw an article. The article was displaying some other writers words and as I searched, my name was missing.

That is why I was disappointed. I was hoping to be published with this site. I had been encouraged and thought I would be. Then I became hurt. How could they not think I was a good writer. I began to take it personal instead of examining other possibilities. The last emotion to show up was pride. I had read some of the information and thought. What I submitted was better than that.

As I sat there with these emotions and thoughts swirling in my head, I felt like I was going to take a road of sulking and self pity.

Then I stopped. The Holy Spirit seemed to stop me. I said a prayer.

“Lord I don’t know what has happened. I don’t understand it. I know you did not want me published on this site. I surrender it all to you, with my emotions.” Lord I trust you with how you will use my writing.”

Instead of a bucket of yucky feelings swiring in my spirit, I had a transformation. I felt peace. I could focus on the Lord, and I could move on to what God wanted me to focus on.

I have not always responded with my focus on the Lord, but I was grateful that this time I had.

Time passed and then, it was a busy Monday with lots of communication to respond to. I quickly opened the email, being prepared to trash the correspondence. I completely changed that idea as I began to read. It seems that the editor had written back and I was published in an article.

What happened?

The first article was part of two articles. The first one was just the warm up let’s say. The one where I was published was for the top writing.

God had told me no. I did not understand. What He knew was that no meant yes for something better. We have heard that before. A no, can be praise worthy because it means yes to something better. People have told us this at times of difficulty. Someone was not telling me this, I was living this.

God is telling you no. You want to have a pity party. This is a no that can be praised. This is God telling you, that there is something better! Surrender your heart and pray for God to help you with the Holy Spirit. You will be amazed at what God can do with that prayer.

Hebrews 11:40

since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

Jennifer Van Allen



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