Me: I like that house Prodigal!
Prodigal: It is a friend of mine’s house. We just had some lunch and were catching up with each other!
Me: I know you just caught up with your friend but I have another story from Patsy Clairmont.
Prodigal: I like her and would love to her what she has to say.
What picture comes to mind when you hear the word grace? I think of a woman named–what else–Grace who lived near our family’s home when I was growing up. She and her husband were friends of my parents and, believe me, that is where the friendship ended. Grace, had no, uh, grace for children. She and her husband didn’t have little ones of their own so perhaps that is why Grace had no space in her heart for me.
Years later, in desperate hours of my life, I experienced another grace: God’s grace. The Lord gave me a place to stand in his presence. I couldn’t believe he had space in his heart for me. This undeserved reception and inclusion stunned me. And honestly, I struggled…with grace.
Two distinct pictures of “grace.” One portrays not even a smidgen of favor or friendly regard; the other speaks of lavish acceptance. I had trouble with both.
I couldn’t bear the feelings I had when I was in Grace’s home. I felt physically rigid and certain that if I bumped anything or dropped something my life expectancy would be reduced drastically. Yet what troubled me most wasn’t just the sense that I might do something wrong but the feeling I was something wrong.
God’s grace, which gave me the freedom to be myself without condemnation, was not only foreign but also a little frightening. I was used to trying to win approval and not receiving it until I had performed some necessary stunts, like making my bed, saying my prayers, and attending church thirty-three times a week. Unmerited favor is hard to swallow, and yet, when received, it sweetly quenches my deep thirst for unconditional love.
Today God wants you to feel his grace. No trying to be perfect. No list that is a mile long to earn it. No rigid expectations. Just renew yourself with his grace of love that will help smooth over some of those hurts.
Jeremiah 31:2-3
Thus says the LORD. “The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness; when Israel sought for rest, the LORD appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.
Jennifer Van Allen,
www.theprodigalpig.com
www.faithincounseling.org
